Ladies and gentlemen, after four months, I have returned. China was amazing, if you’ve never been, then I suggest you go. Not because that’s where I’ve been for the past four months, just because them google images look AMAZING!
Seriously, I just got side-tracked with life as usual, buy damn I love how tumblr. hasn’t deleted my blog or anything, everything is still intact! Thank you democrazy.
Enough with the sour kisses and golden showers, here we go!
Orange: If the President asked you personally to solve a national emergency, what might he call on you to solve?
Most likely the Republican problem, OH! Emergency eh, well I think one thing we really need to resolve is the health care thing. I mean, it is a moral thing, not a money thing. Even though right now it is a money thing and right wingers have no morals so we’re stuck here for a moment. I don’t have health care which sucks and which is scary to think about when I’m not smoking or drinking. Obama doesn’t really need PT or anyone else to help him with this, he just needs to be the blackest bad ass there is and storm into his oval office and yell, “This shit is going to be universal and get me Jamie Foxx on the phone about my movie biopic!”
If he literally left it up to EvilPT to solve I would use taxes to buy all the NyQuil in the world and filter it into the water supply of every county, town, state, city. NyQuil cures all.
Purple: What irritates you the most in a social situation?
Someone who thinks their funny and laughs at their own jokes while you just stand there nodding and smiling. OR, and seriously this just happened tonight:
I was at the Armadillo Grill simply eating chips and cheese and a bean taco. Nice dinner with the INDY paper. I get up to go to the bathroom and walk downstairs. I over hear the blond girl behind the counter saying, “I’m going on break”. I drizzle my nozzle and wash my hands (I DID) and walk back up stairs. My fucking food is gone. I look around like it moved, but NOTHING. I walk over to the bar keep and ask, “Where’s my food?” He looks over down the counter and DUM DUM DUM, there’s the blond on her “fifteen” smoking a cigarette. She looks at me with a dead stare. I look at her like a lion who lost his lamb. She says, “Oh no, I didn’t see anyone sitting there so I assumed it was done.”
Hu-what?! Not only was an ash-tray lying on the table with a full cup of coke and an INDY paper, who assumes that shit?! And fuck you bar keep for not noticing that I just got for a second. Am I wrong people? Who the fuck throws away half eaten food, HALF eaten WARM food. Lastly who does that shit on their break?! The purpose of having a break is to break away from your resp of work!
Blue: What compact disc or tape do you wish was not in your collection?
Yellow: Who will you probably not receive a phone call from this weekend?
We had an argument about what is funny.